Why the zombie apocalypse is impossible in our universe (Topic)

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Why the zombie apocalypse is impossible in our universe


This is not the case in our universe. She's so boring. And all because magic does not work here, superheroes with superpowers are not born, it is impossible to travel in time, etc. But the main bummer is that in our mortal world the dead cannot mow like the living. And today we will analyze in detail the reasons why the zombie apocalypse is impossible in our universe.

Short introduction

Our universe is such that everything in it obeys its own established laws. Nobody changed the laws of gravity and the distribution of matter and energy in it. Also, no one has canceled the laws of the effect of various radiation, temperature and energy emissions on certain chemical elements collected in "high molecular weight conglomerates" called ribonucleic, deoxyribonucleic acid or organic proteins.


"Life" in our universe also obeys its own rules. Any living creature (no matter whether it is a plant, a virus, a bacterium or an animal) is considered only as long as it is "alive", that is, metabolic processes take place in it. As soon as these processes stop, the bonds that hold the building blocks of the creature disintegrate and it turns into a simple set of organic and not very molecules that become food for other creatures, smaller.

This is death. The entity died to decompose into its constituents, from which another creature could later be grown.

What happens when a person lives

Life means metabolism, that is, the consumption of some substances, for their subsequent transformation into others, with the help of which the further vital activity of the whole organism will be carried out.


In simple words, we consume air and food, which, being converted into the necessary substances, make it possible for the body to produce energy and heat necessary to maintain vital processes at the proper level.

Also, the body synthesizes antibodies that are designed to protect the body from other viruses, bacteria and microbes, each of which (and there are billions of them) seeks to "bite off" a tidbit from the human body throughout its life.

What happens when a person dies

Death means stopping all the main functions of the body and, first of all, the heart, which pumps blood through the veins, supplying the necessary substances and oxygen to every cell of the human body. It does not matter from what the heart stopped, from blood loss caused by injuries incompatible with the further functionality of the body, or from a lack of oxygen. If the heart is not beating, then oxygen is not reaching the brain. And the brain dies without oxygen in half a minute. The cells that make up the brain cannot function without oxygen, which is why they simply die off.

And with them all the information stored in them dies.

How the human body works

The human body is a complex and well-oiled system, consisting of many organs, each of which performs its vital functions and without which the entire body cannot function normally, which is why it simply dies. The digestive organs are responsible for processing the incoming food into the body, preparing it for extracting from it the substances necessary for the life of the body. The excretory organs remove waste food residues and waste accumulated in the process of metabolism from the body. The lungs are responsible for enriching the blood with oxygen, which further carries this oxygen to all cells of the body, etc. The main thing is the central nervous system, which controls all organs.


If a person's kidneys have failed, then all the poison that accumulates in the body, without the ability to leave it, will simply kill him. The same deal with the liver and other organs. We are generally silent about the lungs. As a result of pneumonia, they can fill with liquid, because of which air access to the capillaries will be blocked and the person will simply suffocate. A shot heart will no longer be able to pump blood. And even if the injury was not fatal, without timely help, profuse blood loss will lead to the pressure in the bloodstream falling, the brain will not receive enough oxygen and its cells will begin to die.

When the turn comes to die off the cells responsible for the control of the heart muscles, it will also stop, after which the very death will follow, after which they no longer rise in our universe.

Why in our universe the dead can only be in the movies

But in the films, the dead, not having time to die, get up and begin to hunt for living people, trying to catch up with them and bite off a piece from them. And no matter how they rot "outside", they still walk and, apparently, function "from the inside", that is, their organs are still functioning in some "dead way".

Let's take a look at the behavior and habits of movie zombies in turn and explain why this is impossible in our universe.

A few words about transformation and infection through bites

Indeed, viruses are the fastest, and in most cases, according to scenarios, it is they who are guilty of turning ordinary people, first into the dead, and then into walking bloodthirsty zombies, are transmitted through bites. If the saliva is full of viruses that reproduce and multiply at an eerie rate, the best way to pass them on to someone is to bite that someone. Or kiss him and exchange saliva with him.


Most often, the bitten virus immediately finishes it off, somehow disrupting the work of his organs and causing him to die. Even from small bites, people turn blue and die in order to "rise up" later. And "having risen", start wandering in search of "fresh", focusing on sound, smell and light, thereby implying the normal functionality of the senses, processing information coming to the brain, which means the presence of the brain itself.

This is nonsense. The brain without oxygen has died. Together with him, all the information that can be used to process information from receptors died. And the receptors have all rotted away long ago. Just as the nerves have died out and can no longer conduct impulses by themselves. Alas. It is what it is.

Why can't zombies hear

Even if we assume that some part of the brain and spinal cord remained intact in zombies, zombies will still not be able to hear anything. The eardrums are very thin "stuff" that will rot in the first place. And if so, "to hear", that is, to catch the vibrations of the air through sound waves, they will physically have nothing.

Same with other senses.

Why zombies can't see and smell

Zombies in films have excellent eyesight, sometimes even better than normal people. But the human eye is a very complex organ, which, in a dead state, at best, would receive the reflection of light in such settings in which death found it, and then until the lens and retina were dragged and clouded from the decomposition and death of cells. , to which neither oxygen nor other nutrients are supplied.


The same is true with receptors responsible for receiving information about smells. The dead in films can "smell" fresh meat at a distance inaccessible to the living. This is also idiocy. And the point is not even that their "sniffing apparatus" is rotten, but that "sniffing" implies the work of the lungs, which bacteria and other microbes will devour and turn into a filthy muck in the first place.

And it is physically impossible to breathe and "sniff" empty space.

Other "unavailable functionality"

We all know that all joints and muscles, after the death of any mammal and a person, in particular, lose their elasticity and, in simple words, “dubbed”. Morgue workers have to saw the joints of the bodies in order to place them correctly in the coffins. And in his first films about zombies, Romero, it seems, understood from afar why his dead were inactive and slow.

But in later films, such as "Dawn of the Dead" in 2004, the dead are fierce faster than the living, which plunges pathologists into frenzied laughter.

The dead also chew for a feast for the eyes. No living person is able to chew raw meat even with all the teeth in his mouth. Tearing off a piece is even more difficult. Do not believe me, try at home with a piece of pig or any other tenderloin.


We'll have to, at best, cut off a piece and swallow it as it is, not very chewed. And at the same time, to understand that too large a piece will get across the throat and then cranks. Even if you die after that and turn into a zombie, you will not be able to "eat" anymore. The esophagus will be blocked.

Zombies somehow understand how much to bite off and how to swallow (what if everything is rotten?) so as not to choke.

On the question of "understanding" or Shoot in the head!

The human brain will turn into slime in the first days after death. Even the structure of the animal's lungs will retain its integrity longer than the brain, which even in its living form is most similar to jelly. You can as many as you like that the integrity of the brain is supposedly preserved by the virus, but every rationally thinking person should understand that the virus enters the body of the animal and, in particular, the cells of the body in order to feed on them and multiply in their environment. but not in order to "save" them.

And if any such virus wants to do it, then, first of all, it will have to work to provide the brain cells with everything they need and keep them in a "live" state. But, here's the trouble, where to get all this "necessary"? To carry on yourself "from the street"?


Someone may shout, they say, so they eat! Let's answer, and who will digest this food, isolate the necessary substances from it and deliver them to cells for synthesis? The blood flow does not work, the liver is like all other organs.

In general, the brains of any dead person after a week in the heat will become slurry, into which the ubiquitous bacteria will help turn them. So, "death of a dead man" from a shot in an empty head is just idiocy.

In fact, all the functionality of movie zombies is tailored for the presence of working organs, which they do not have. Paradox.

Other Zombie Paradoxes

We will enumerate those in a list and together puzzle over the interesting riddles of the cinematic universes, to which ours is still to stomp and stomp. And let's start with the most pressing question that anyone asked himself at least once while watching films about a zombie apocalypse:

  • Why are they only chasing the living? Indeed, around, especially at the time of the start of the mess, is full of "fresh meat". No, the zombie bit the fresh meat, according to the creators, precisely because he felt hunger and, sensing a more alive one nearby, immediately rushed to eat it. Is it tastier?
  • Why are they only chasing people? Why don't they like beef, pork and other meats anymore? Why don't they want tasty sausage and wieners, which, in addition, are better absorbed by the body, bite off and chew? Is it a reflex from the brain that is not there? Nonsense, and nothing more.
  • Why do they eat at all, if food does not even reach the stomach? At one point, we are shown how the living was bitten by the dead, pulling out all its insides, and at another moment, this already converted "living" one, along with all the others, is the chufanite of the next one who turns up. And how long did the zombies take out the insides of the shotgun, after which they began to eat again?
  • How do they keep their balance on two legs? Do dead people without a vestibular apparatus keep their balance better than living but drunk people? Ah, yes, zombies are just sober ...
  • Why zombies do not lose their teeth , and living people from the same scurvy - only in years. Are the dead healthier than the living?
  • How do they make sounds if their lungs are dead? Are they breathing? Than? A balloon from the store? And where did they get their vocal cords, which should have rotted long ago? Did the virus keep them on purpose too?
  • Why do ordinary corpses rot in a matter of months, and in the heat, even in days, and cinemas roam for years? Is the virus to blame again?

And such insoluble and incomprehensible "options" are a dime a dozen.

We have given here only the most obvious and paradoxical ones. Although, a walking and hungry dead man is in itself a great paradox, which in our universe with our laws simply cannot be physically.

The Walking Dead paradox

We want to talk about him separately. In the universe of walkers, everyone is initially infected with a virus. Even dying not from a bite, a person will still turn into a zombie. The question is the following. Why, then, does no one die from the virus until it is forcibly brought in by a bite? A virus from saliva and a virus from the air is something different? Different concentration? But it is enough to turn a person into a zombie after his death.


Good. It is necessary that the infection gets on the mucous membrane. But the scattering brains of zombies often found themselves in the mouths of the main characters in the film. The rubbish got on both pimples and small wounds on the body of those who were smeared with carrion to mask it. No dear ones. It takes at least a small bite. Enough even if the zombie just scratched you.

All paradoxes are a paradox.

The virus is to blame for everything!

We have already said above that some creators of zombie films hint that the virus, penetrating into the cells of a dead person, makes them function again at a kind of "reflex level". Let's expand on the topic. Allegedly, this is a virus of a certain type, which in its general heap represents a kind of collective intelligence, so to speak, the intelligence of a swarm, as in that anthill.


But, wait a minute, even if you accept a certain telepathic connection between the components of the "viral swarm" that populates the body, it is still unclear how they will support the cells of the human body if they came to them to feed on them? And if not, they themselves will have to die of hunger. Or, from time to time, "fly out of the body" in order to chew something on the side. But, excuse me, why then do they need this very human body? Then, to, like cute little children, "ride a typewriter"?

And why then, if the ghoul is controlled not by the brain of a corpse, but by a virus, shoot a zombie in the head? Is there a "viral bosses" in there too? Is the skull most comfortable for him? What nonsense?

CONOP 8888 - Zombie Apocalypse Survival Plan from the US Armed Forces

No matter how someone thinks rationally, some in the US government still think the threat of a zombie apocalypse is quite real. CONOP 8888 is a survival plan specially developed by the Strategic Command of the United States Armed Forces in 2009-2010 in the event of a threat from the walking dead.


It describes in detail all aspects of the fight against zombies, which are:

  • Create all conditions in order to maximally protect humanity from zombies and further maintain these conditions at the highest level.
  • Conduct special operations to eliminate the threat posed by zombies to civilians.
  • Provide all possible assistance to local authorities in the regions affected by zombie attacks in maintaining law and order, and resuming the normal operation of all enterprises and organizations that provide basic services to the population during a zombie attack and after their complete elimination.

As we can see, North America approached the problem seriously. But the point here is not that the Pentagon seriously believed in the reality of the threat from the zombie. This plan is suitable for all occasions. Even in the event of popular unrest.

But, nevertheless, separately, in the segment "summary of the zombie threat", it is said that the danger from the zombie is also not excluded and the plan is not a joke. It also indicates that these measures were developed in case of a real threat from the outside: zombies of such typologies as:

  • radiation zombies;
  • pathogenic zombies;
  • black magic zombies;
  • space zombies;
  • armed zombies that are bioengineered products out of control;
  • infectious zombies from among the hostages of pathogenic microorganisms;
  • zombie vegetarians (according to experts from the US Strategic Command, zombies do not have to attack people, but they will also need to be "stopped");
  • zombie chickens (after all, according to local farmers, some dead chickens buried in the ground have a habit of “digging up themselves”).

Any rationally thinking person understands that almost the entire set indicated in the list is sheer idiocy. But, at the same time, we do not exclude the possibility that a rabies virus capable of covering people's eyes can actually be created. Not necessarily it will be transmitted through bites, and not necessarily the dead will act as zombies. Rather, it will be citizens who are crazy about pathogens, like mad rushing at each other for a reason and without a reason.

Well, or something like that.


So, dear our readers, in our universe with our set of physical, chemical and biological laws, a zombie apocalypse, apparently, does not shine for us.


The only thing that remains for us is to watch the adventures of movie characters, swallowing saliva with envy.

But sometimes, you want romance ...

Alas. Not in our limited macrocosm.

All the best and see you soon.

The Topic of Article: Why the zombie apocalypse is impossible in our universe.
Author: Jake Pinkman