Major DC Comics superheroes. Superman: Superpowers Debriefing (Topic)

We are launching a section dedicated to the analysis of the main superheroes of the most famous and popular comic book companies. And the first to get under the distribution was Superman from DC Comics. After all, he was almost the first superhero in principle and is one of the most powerful of all comic book characters in the superhero line.

Brief explanation

In our materials, we will not go into who invented it and why. Also, we will not delve into the character's biography, personal life, and so on. We will not touch upon such topics as shoe size, height, weight, eye color, etc. A few words about what he is and where he came from, of course, we will say, but we will focus on a detailed review of his superpowers and their degree of reality (putting it mildly) based on the physical and other laws of our universe.

So let's go.

Who is Superman and where did he come from

Superman took off from space. Far away, tens of astronomical units from the Earth, the planet Krypton once existed and flourished until it exploded overnight. Before the Apocalypse itself, the mother and father sent their baby Kal-El (this was the name of the boy when he was still a baby) in a space capsule into the depths of space and, after a while, he safely fell from heaven onto the heads of Martha and Jonathan Kent, who decided keep it with you, giving it the name Clark.

Clarke, growing up, began to notice superpowers in himself, which over time, based on good upbringing, began to use in order to do good in all four directions, based on his personal views on life and justice.

By the way, the Kryptonians were all "supermen", but all their power was diminished when the mineral kryptonite, a stone that looked like green crystal, appeared nearby.

But we'll talk about the Achilles heel of the most superheroes some other time. In the meantime, let's start analyzing his superpowers.

Superman's main abilities and the degree of their "reality"

Superman had a huge number of those. Since his appearance as a character in the late 30s of the last century, his strength and arsenal of superpowers all the time increased until they swelled to a completely uncontrollable list, which required a complete "rethinking" of the main character of the DC Universe in the 90s. After the upgrade, the current Superman has a slightly curtailed list of "features" that, to be honest, don't need additional ones.

Let's list the main superpowers of Superman and review them from the point of view of science, rational thinking and just common sense. And the first and most interesting feature of Clark Kent is his ...

Impenetrable

Moreover, not "hard skin" or "hardness" but simply "impenetrability". Contrary to the Superman - Man of Steel slogan, Clark Kent was not metal at all. The very body of a humanoid, the presence of a head, hands, legs and sense organs in it implies that it has the same internal structure of the human body as ordinary people, which are earthlings. That is, he must have a Central nervous system (brains, nerves, receptors, etc.), digestive organs (we see the mouth, which means further we assume the esophagus, stomach, intestines, liver, etc.), and so on. And, of course, the most important organ for this section is the skin, as well as an indestructible skeleton, consisting of "rigid" bones that do not lend themselves to other mechanical influences.

By the method of logical inference, we have reached the point that at the moment of the shot, the bullet ricochets from Superman's skin. Why does this happen if we found out that, in the manner of an ordinary person, the body of a Kryptonian, here - skin, consists of living cells, and not of metal?

Any fan will laugh in our face and say:

- Idiots! When the shot is fired, that area of skin hardens and turns into bulletproof, after which it becomes normal again.

- Okay, - we say, - what if it's a fragmentation grenade? Does his body “harden” at once?

- Of course!

How does it become "impenetrable"? By what means? "Impenetrability" should be carried out at the expense of some exceptionally hard and strong substance, and moreover, it is also resistant to deformation. The skin cells of an ordinary person are not capable of this. This means that every cell of Superman's skin must have an evolutionary hardening mechanism.

But, excuse me, what if you sneak up on a sleeping superman? Or attack him from behind? The "solidification mechanism" will work automatically, hinting that each cell of the Kryptonian's body has its own telepathic sense and sense of foresight?

The paradox also lies in the fact that the skin cannot just “harden”. To "harden" and turn it into an impenetrable and non-deformable (otherwise it could easily be crushed with a concrete slab), the body armor in it (or under the upper layer of the epidermis) must contain a special set of chemical (albeit organic) compounds, which, if necessary, immediately will replace this very layer of the epidermis, transforming into a kind of impenetrable film around the entire body. But Superman's skin looks the same as it was. And what about those same eyes? There is no skin on them. That is, in simple words, the impenetrability of the Kryptonian is magic, for which there is no explanation.

And if we take into account the fact that Superman's body does not burn, does not swell in a vacuum, does not turn into a fireball at high speeds from friction, does not decompose from radiation and other radiation, then ...

That is why this is no fantasy, but just a fairy tale for adults.

Some of the fans will surely blurt out something about the fact that he is "always solid". Alas. "Always firm" and at the same time "always elastic" are impossible. This is from the same category as "dry water" or "cold fire".

Someone will certainly touch upon the topic of "protective screen around the body." But then again, how does Superman, for example, kiss his girlfriend? Through the screen? Does he have sex? It turns out that he doesn't need a condom for contraception? But most importantly, how does he eat? What turns out, you can easily soak it at the moment when the superhero takes a meal? Some nonsense.

And from the point of view of the law of conservation of energy, such a protective shield looks stupid. Here is an excerpt from it: "Nature does not allow energy to appear from nowhere and disappear into nowhere," which implies that to maintain such a "strong" protective screen, Superman will have to eat incessantly, reworking grubs and releasing energy for the operation of this very screen.

And this despite the fact that the very nature of this screen is unclear.

And, yes, about the "replenishment of solar energy" can not be flooded. The little asshole does not have such a surface to absorb this energy in megawatts. And by the way, energy in large quantities needs to be stored somewhere. Obviously not in the cells of the body. There and without them everything is enough. Or you will have to throw out the "super-solid" from there. Well, or nuclei with vacuoles and mitochondria. But then it will no longer be cells, but useless protoplasm.

Super Power

This quality largely stems from the first. Indeed, in order to lift a body weighing a ton and not break at the same time, Superman needs not only a super skeleton made of some titanium, but, again, super-sticky skin integuments. If he had the usual leather and fabrics underneath, while trying to wrap his fingers around the parts of the car for which he wants to lift him, Superman would remove his skin and tear the tissues under it.

In addition, here the laws of physics of our universe say that it is impossible in principle to manipulate large and heavy objects as Clark Kent manipulates them. He would not have been able to throw cars for the simple reason that he himself, due to his relatively low weight, would have "thrown" from the car, rather than the car from him.

To manipulate massive and heavy objects that weigh several times the weight of a superhero, this very superhero first has to secure a serious grip with the surface. The soles of sneakers, albeit a trampled size 46, are not suitable for this. This will require a gigantic vice, in which he will have to “settle down and gain a foothold.”

And mind you, we are not talking about muscle strength at all, resigning ourselves to the fact that he is able to lift a 45-ton tank from the surface of the earth.

What are its muscle fibers made of? Certainly not muscle. It's some kind of hydraulics. But it is clearly stated that Clark Kent is not a cyborg, but a 100% biological organism.

Self Healing

Why can't the human body heal in a matter of seconds? Because for the construction of new cells, special organic substances are needed, which no body can produce in a matter of moments.

Also, what is "regeneration"? In fact, this is the replacement of damaged cells with new ones, which the body must grow and fuse with each other in the order in which everything was "before the injury." To grow new cells, again, you need to eat a lot of food and vitamins, from which special proteins will be built, from which, in turn, each new cell will be grown (built).

For the fastest regeneration of any biological tissue, you need nutrition, oxygen supply and rest, and not the light of some phantasmagoric "yellow star". You cannot isolate substances for building cells from it. It was invented in order to somehow justify the super-fast regeneration of the protagonist and, to the heap, his ignorance. But rational thinking has not yet been canceled.

Super Speed

It is very funny how many superhero fans perceive the super-fast movement of such types as "Flash" at face value. But the unreality of movement at such speeds is not that you need to have super-strong muscles, ligaments, bones, non-stick foot coating and other "equipment" for this. Although, and not without it, of course. Here everything is covered, again, in simple mechanics. To accelerate the body to breakneck speed, a person does not need large muscles, but good grip on the ground. Alas, even the 46th trampled shoe size of Superman's sneakers won't help him here. If he weighed a ton with his superpower, then he could accelerate faster. And so it will simply "slip in place". But with such a weight, it will be more problematic to slow down.

Although with a weight of 90 kg, it will not work to brake sharply at a speed of 100 km / h. Erase your legs to your knees, and that's the best case scenario. The creators of comics about Superman clearly received two marks in physics school. Well nothing. But they clearly had a five plus in fine art.

Extra Endurance

It is not entirely clear why evolution created Kryptonians with noses, mouths and other attributes of normal people, if, according to the creators of the character, they can do without food, water and oxygen at all.

True, it is not entirely clear then what the cells of his body eat and support themselves? Eat each other? And how about brain cells that simply die without an oxygen supply. Someone will say that the biology and structure of the cells of the Kryptonians are arranged according to a completely different principle. Okay. They don't need oxygen. But, again, in accordance with the law of conservation of energy, they still need some kind of nutrition to maintain the functionality at the proper level.

Again, someone will fill in about the "replenishment of solar energy." But unfortunately, you cannot synthesize proteins and other useful organic substances from solar energy, which are necessary for feeding any, mind you, any organic cells. Although Superman's tissues are built differently, this does not mean that they also do not require nutrients, even if they are also slightly different. Otherwise, without metabolism, the cells of any living biological organism will begin to die off. Let him be Superman three times.

And sunlight is good only for vacuum cleaners. Or for plants. But they, too, dig into the ground with their roots, pulling out everything they can reach from it. And from what will Superman pull useful substances?

Superfeelings

As you can imagine, we will talk about super vision, super smell and super hearing. The existence of super-thin eardrums and supersensitive olfactory receptors in Superman is quite possible. This does not go beyond the real. But the ability to switch alternately between X-ray, infrared, ultraviolet and thermal modes of vision is too much. We are completely silent about telescopic and microscopic vision.

How the nature of Krypton installed an X-ray machine in the head of the Kryptonians - history is silent. She is also silent about why they needed him.

But it all pales before Superman's controlled levitation ability.

Laser Generator Eyes

Lasers from the eyes are Superman's calling card. Fans defend their hero to the bone, proving that his eyes do not melt from laser beams due to the fact that the beam itself is generated only at the exit from the lens of the eye lens.

They didn’t think about only one thing. To generate a laser of such power, you must first create a source of light and heat radiation, from which the brains inside the head of anyone would burn out. And this source should be located in the very eyes.

That's bad luck, isn't it?

Flight

We got to the most important insanity. The ability of Clark Kent to overcome gravity is explained by the creators of the fact that he supposedly controls the gravitational particles of his body at the vegetative level. What particles they are is not specified. How he controls them is also unknown.

But what is really real is that if he temporarily “turned off” these “gravitational particles”, his body would not only become weightless, it would immediately disintegrate into the smallest elementary particles. p>

But, okay. Let's say that he "turned on the control of gravitational particles" and his body was freed from the gravity of the Earth. Pushing off from its surface with his feet, he could slowly soar, and would fly like that until he flew into space. Further, he would continue his flight until he “turned off the control of gravitational particles” and, thus, did not jump from space to Earth, if, of course, he was still within its gravitational field.

But the inventors went further. They not only gifted him with the gift of becoming immune to gravity. They built a superior biological propulsion system into it, thereby giving it the ability to fly like it had a jet engine built into its ass.

History is silent about how Superman picks up speed without jet thrust. He just thinks, they say, I flew, and, in fact, flies. Is it again some kind of muddied with "turning on and off gravitational particles"? But what does antigravity and acceleration have to do with it, if, of course, it is not gravitational acceleration?

The magic doesn't end there. Without any visible engine and other devices, Superman can accelerate both in the atmosphere and in the vacuum of space to near-light speeds (and in the early comics, and over-light).

If someone is still not convinced that this is sheer nonsense, then fine. Let the person fly to himself, why are they stuck?

A few words about rational thinking and a sense of proportion

Of course, we have not listed all Superman's superpowers, but only the main ones. But there are enough of them to ask the question, why did you, in fact, limit yourself to this? After all, before Superman could move the planet. So why have you made it so mundane now?

By common sense, if Superman can fly without an engine, overcome Earth's gravity and charge from the sun like a battery, why not endow him with the ability to mass suggestion. Indeed, it is much easier to believe in telepathy than in the fact that some man who flew in from the stars in a cradle ship was brought up good and does good deeds for the good of people absolutely for nothing.

After all, then he could once and for all inspire all people on Earth that they need to be good like him. And all crimes would have stopped immediately. But this, of course, will never happen. After all, then Superman will die of boredom. And there will be nothing to draw comics about. That is why everything in comic universes is the same as in our life.

Let everyone continue to cut, destroy and do bad things. And we will earn some more money from this.

Conclusion

This is exactly how things are with Superman's superpowers from the point of view of science and common sense. It is, of course, good when there is such a flying guy, behind whose back you can always hide. But isn't this Superman degrading on this basis for honest people from the universe? He will give up and wait for Clark Kent to save him.

Only, is this life? For us, it looks more like a mouse fuss in the basement. Only villains and Superman himself really live here. The rest are an inert mass, trembling with fear and relying on a guy in tights.

But watching and reading about how some hero punishes everyone and everything right and left without trial and investigation based on his own motives and moral principles - it's so cool.

That would be the case in our life, right?

The Topic of Article: Major DC Comics superheroes. Superman: Superpowers Debriefing.
Author: Jake Pinkman