Super spoiler. Issue 3. ”Hunter Killer” or How hard it is for USAns in USA (Topic)

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Super spoiler. Issue 3. ”Hunter Killer” or How hard it is for USAns in USA


The film is an idiotic story about how the Americans rescued a stupid USA president from the grasping clutches of the Minister of Defense, who was ill. For those who like to see how American specialists cross the borders of sovereign states with impunity (and here it is USA!) And solve their painful problems there, it is better not to read this long spoiler. As after reading it, the film will not be to the taste of fans of the genre.

Although it will spur some people to watch!

How our authorities reacted to the plot of the film

Our Ministry of Culture doubts that such a thing can be watched by the citizens of our country. After all, there are many, as the Goblin Puchkov would say, "juvenile morons" who will take this nonsense at face value. And therefore the rental certificate for this "masterpiece" was hacked to death. We have already drawn the attention of our readers to the idiotic script of the tape in one of the previous reviews of movie premieres. And now, after watching the film, we can confidently state that we were right in everything.

Let's analyze this obscure "action movie" by screws and cogs, at the same time paying attention to the most idiotic moments. And once again we warn you. Those who are going to watch the film (at least because of love for the same Butler) should not read further. But for spoilers, welcome to our extended review.

Unobtrusive propaganda


Before proceeding with a short retelling with comments, I would like to draw your attention to what kind of bullshit Americans are driving around the world. And, to the greatest regret, after seeing this "masterpiece" and in our country, many can really be imbued with the fact that in USA all military bases are rusty wrecks, the president is a rag, his protection is incompetent, there is always squabbles in the government, and the Minister of Defense is any scumbag can become, or, as in this case, a schizoid with a broken head.

After all, the film has traveled across countries and continents with a bang, and its IMDb rating is kept at seven. And this means that the whole world has once again learned what kind of USA village is and what a mess reigns in it. And everyone will once again be amazed, well, how do people live in it! Some will even cry over our hard lot. After all, living under the leadership of an idiot president, who can easily be overthrown by a schizophrenic defense minister, is so hard ...

And go and prove to the whole world that everything shown in the film is complete nonsense. After all, the lion's share of people are used to building their opinion about things from just such "would-be blockbusters" ...

The beginning of the mess

Somewhere in the Barents Sea, our "Shark" class submarine with the strange name "Horse" is being grazed by the American "Tampa Bay" submarine of the "Hunter Killer" class (in USA - "Hunter Killer"). Suddenly, the USA submarine is attacked by an unknown enemy and torpedoes, including those heading towards the Tampa Bay submarine.

The Americans could not dodge, and their ship, after being hit by a foreign torpedo, together with the "Horse" falls to the bottom.

Custom moment of idiotic script


Meanwhile, in the United States, at the National Defense Planning Center, a conversation is being conducted, clearly paid for by the White House. Otherwise, the cinematographers simply would not have thought of inserting a dialogue into their plot that clearly has nothing to do with the main plot of the film. We quote a piece, they say in the office of the chairman of the US Chiefs of Staff:

“The Barents Sea is not Syria! He (hinting at the President of USA) continues the occupation of Crimea, he will soon climb into the Baltic! What's next? Europe? We cannot afford a second Cold War. We have witnessed the most aggressive military action in modern history. It's not time to crush eggs ... "

And so on. For now, let's leave the representatives of the US Department of Defense in the dark about the incident in the Barents Sea, and analyze this most important passage of text, for the sake of which, basically, the entire film was shot.

The filmmakers were simply told from above “We need this text to sound desirable at the very beginning of the film. And the rest you can shoot yourself at your discretion. The main thing is that their president was exposed as a nurse, and the generals - as schizoid bloodthirsty warriors. " And the Hollywood filmmakers did just that.


Towards the end, we will analyze why this text does not stick with the whole plot in any way. In the meantime, let's take a look at everything that has been said in a "ordered" and in some places completely incoherent passage, which simply resembles a set of stamps that should have been mentioned:

  • "... the Barents Sea is not Syria! .." - hints that the enemy, that is, USA, is close to the United States, although there is no need to get close what? We've always been here. It means that here - once! I dived under the ice patch of the Arctic, and we are already in America. This is nonsense.
  • "... He continues the occupation of Crimea ...!" - right. The world began to forget about this case. I ought to remind him. And what will not bring the information to the layman all over the world, if not a blockbuster with Butler in the title role. And do not care that in Crimea people themselves voted to return to USA, and this is not an "occupation" at all. But this very word was ordered to once again poke lies in the face of the world community, which everyone will take at face value.
  • "... Soon he will climb into the Baltic! .." - dear, slow down! Peter I cut a window to Europe back in the 18th century. Since then we have been “climbing” there. What does “He” have to do with it, that is, the current president? Unclear. But enough to remind Europeans about it, half of whom might not have known about it.
  • “… What next? Europe? .. " -is another attempt to intimidate ignorant Europeans, who, allegedly, do not even suspect that half of USA, oddly enough, is in Europe. We are already in Europe, dear! They pump oil from us, didn't they know?
  • “We cannot afford a second cold war!” - and you didn’t unleash it again, pushing NATO bases further and further towards our borders and alternately leaving of all missile deterrence treaties?
  • "... We have witnessed the most aggressive military actions in modern history ..." - Yeah, for some reason, everyone has safely forgotten about Iraq. And Vietnam is already a "non-modern history" ...
  • "... It's not time to crush eggs! .." - the appeal is clearly directed not to people sitting with the chairman of the chiefs of staff in the same office, but to moviegoers sitting open-mouthed in front of the movie screen.

But now the tirade of the text ordered by the State Department has ended, and now the director with a pure heart can begin, in fact, filming the main plot ...

Further developments

Admiral Fisk asks Chairman Charles Donnegan for a few words and reports to him about the incident in the Barents Sea. The chairman is antsy, and is immediately ready to tear and throw.


This is a common practice. For the plot to come out intriguing, one of the ruling elite of the command must always be aggressive and push through forceful methods, while he must be opposed by a sane and reasonable antipode, who will try to restrain a "hot" opponent. In this case, the aggressive one is the chairman of the US Chiefs of Staff Charles Donnegan, played by Harry Oldman, a sane and supporter of soft measures and reinsurance - Fleet Admiral John Fisk, in the role of which the familiar to us from "Hell on Wheels" Common played.

It is not known for certain who was the first to shoot an American submarine or a USA. But it is clear that it was not without a clash, and they decide to send in search of the sunken expensive submarine, stuffed with secret equipment, another submarine class "Hunter Killer", based in one of the bases in Scotland. It is commanded, as it is already known from the trailer, who is now on leave, or rather - on a bow hunt for deer (how!) The brave captain John Glass, aka Gerard Butler.

While he is called to the service in the style of "Mission Impossible" and instructed, let's switch to events in USA. It’s not clear where and from what meeting our President Zakharin was offended (sheer idiocy), but for some reason he rolled not to his wife and children, but to the military base in Polyarnoye (what kind of Polyarnoye?) Together with Defense Minister Durov .

No human security, no serious measures to prepare for the arrival of the President. I just flew halfway across the country by helicopter and that's it.

The State Department, meanwhile, suspects that the incident in the Barents Sea and the president's "offense" are somehow connected, and therefore they decide to send a sabotage group to the northern base in Polar (complete nonsense). This was the proposal of Admiral Fisk, a supporter of "soft measures".

From the base in Tajikistan, a detachment of navy seals (or infantrymen, in general, some kind of cool special unit) rises into the air by plane and is transferred to the north.


And how did they fly so fast? After all, if they were flying over USA, they would have been shot down 100% at the very beginning. Ours are by no means suckers in this, otherwise someone would fly over us and throw anything from above on us - from poison to nuclear warheads. Probably, they made a detour over Europe. Again - complete nonsense. Why didn't they take specialists from the base in the Baltic countries?


Over our airspace, specialists safely jumped with parachutes.

What a childhood dream? At the base both the Minister of Defense and the President, but there they would not have left a living place from anyone. Only one flaps of skin would land, no matter how long you jump. And the plane would have been shot down on the way. And not on the approach, but if only he crossed the border. Fairy tales, and nothing more. Our air defense systems track all flying objects not only over our territory, but also over European countries, about birds.

In short, we have a sharashkin office at our base. American specialists do what they want here. They are filming how the attempted coup takes place. Durov removes the president, hinting to him that he is a rag and is not able to avenge the submarine knocked out in the Barents Sea, although as it will become clear later, he himself blew it up.


Meanwhile, Butler's hero and the team find the sunken submarine Tampa Bay, and with it our submarine "The Horse". They are being examined at the bathyscaphe. From the pictures taken, it becomes clear that the explosion on the "Skate" occurred from the inside. Along the way, they rescued the captain of our sunken ship and some of the crew (what good guys!).

Along the way, they had to fight off a torpedo attack from a third submarine disguised in the ice. As it turned out, it was she who sank the Americans just now. Butler's team successfully evades torpedoes and undermines the enemy (our) submarine.


In the meantime, the headquarters sees a live broadcast of the coup, filmed by an American airborne group based at our base as at home. They see the execution of the presidential guards.

The chief of security was prudently not shot, but thrown into the icy water after being wounded. After all, it was necessary for him to escape and later stand side by side with the American specialists. But, all in order.

The chairman of the chiefs of staff insists on bristling with might and main. Miss President (yes, here America is ruled by a lady), is inclined to agree with him, but then Captain Glass (Butler) gets in touch, who said that there was a sabotage on the USA submarine. As it turned out, she was not the reason for the blowing up of their submarine. This, along the way, is an internal USA conspiracy. And the crew of the third submarine they blew up was a direct participant in it.


Everyone understands that General Durov has gone crazy, and, having seized power, wants to unleash military action against America. It was he, such rubbish, who initially set everything up. And an even more moronic plan arises in the judicious head of the admiral of the fleet. War can be avoided if his specialists, thrown into the base, kidnap / rescue the USA President Zakharin. If you return him to the Kremlin, he will tell everything about everything, and the war will be gone.

Adults are uncles, and naive are like children in a sandbox. Plus, there must be thousands of soldiers at the base, guards, posts, on duty. But everything turns out to be even more stupid.


Glass is sent on his submarine for the specialists who will be engaged in kidnapping the president. To pass through the fairway, protected by mines and studded with sound sensors, the captain of the submarine, Lieutenant Colonel Andropov, rescued from the "Horse" is attracted. Ha! We picked up the general secretary's surname!

Captain Glass shows him a photo confirming that the explosion on the submarine "Horse" was the work of some saboteur from the USA side and explains at length to him that if the president is not saved, a war will start. And he, of course, delves into everything said (believes on the word) and hands over, so to speak, our base with giblets.


Such are the captains of submarines in the USA army, it turns out. What if it was all fabricated? Well, okay, let's move on.

Contrary to our assumptions, except for the thug and henchman Durov Tretyak (who, by the way, was played by our Igor Zhizhin), as it turned out, there is no one else on the base. Well, at least that kind of impression is created. They drive their "UAZ" cars everywhere, chasing specialists. Someone was wounded, someone was sent to the bottom. But they still "took away" the president, at the same time tying up the surviving chief of the presidential guard as a partner, who, in the end, dies a heroic death, covering the group's retreat and blowing up himself and the thug Tretyak-Zhizhin into the bargain.


The President is safely lowered into the bathyscaphe, which is bursting at the seams, but swims to the submarine, on board which the head of our country is "transferred". The remaining specialist is sent to the aid of wounded friends, lost somewhere at the base.

How did he “set off” if the bathyscaphe was about to be crushed and flooded? Apparently, this is not our business.

The destroyer begins to hunt for the boat. Panic in the headquarters committee! If Glass's boat is blown up together with our president, everything will look like the Americans set everything up initially, kidnapped the USA president and are going to start a war. Here already, as they say, you can't get rid of it.

From the explosion of another depth charge with the boat, communication is lost. Everyone in the State Department is in a panic. Nowhere to go - you need to prepare an offensive. On the other side is the northern USA flotilla. Collisions cannot be avoided. And then there is even more nonsense. Butler's hero Captain Glass invites Lieutenant Colonel Andropov to address the destroyer team, which he once allegedly trained. He gives him the phone, and he explains, they say, we have the president of USA on board, don't shoot, everything is set up and all that stuff.

It is not known for certain what he was carrying there, since our captain "Skate" was played by an American actor and it was simply unrealistic to decipher his distorted USA speech in English voice acting. But, one way or another, the entire crew, from cook to first mate, got through, and everyone flatly refused to open fire on the surfaced enemy submarine. And this is another example of how in our navy, and indeed in the army in general, they observe the regulations and carry out the orders of the commander. Circus, and nothing more. How has our army not yet collapsed with such discipline?

Seeing that the destroyer's crew refuses to follow his orders even at gunpoint, the captain of this destroyer grabs the pipe and yells in Minister Durov's ear: “We will not shoot at the submarine!” He quickly sided with the team. Apparently he was persuaded by their obstinacy. And if the captain of the "Horse" turned out to be a traitor? Complete nonsense.

Then Durov brings rocket launchers to firing positions (look, there are still people at the base!) and decides to blow up the submarine with missiles.


Captain Glass simultaneously receives an order from his own to deliver a nuclear strike on the base. But ... it doesn't. It is clear where the legs of military disobedience grow in blunt-nosed scriptwriters. From their own ignorance. In their opinion, in any normal modern army, orders should not always be followed without fail.

And, meanwhile, Durov makes a missile strike, but the missiles at the finish, oddly enough, are fired from a USA destroyer from some kind of large-caliber onboard machine guns. But it doesn't matter why they shoot them there. The main thing is that the rockets explode right above the submarine, which is henna from these explosions.


In total, at least four installations of 4 missiles each rolled out to the firing position, and none of them reached the target. What kind of idiotic fiction? Was it really impossible to attract for the film at least some crooked-oblique specialist, who at least stood on the nightstand in the army?

Oh, yes, they have no order books there. And therefore, apparently, there was no one to invite. The professional military, probably, after reading the script, initially said so directly: “We will not take part in such nonsense. They will laugh at us! " And the poor scriptwriters had to work out in their own way. What happened is clear. Achinea is complete.

In the end, our destroyer, having fired missiles over an American submarine (Ha!), blew up the base together with Durov to a fenne. This is the end of the tale.

Why the ordered text does not fit the plot?

Take a look yourself. Does our military operations in Syria and what happened to Crimea fit into THIS universe? Yes, this indistinct President, who was overthrown and stolen, in a word, like a rag dragged throughout the film, would never have been able to carry out such a policy. And even with such a schizophrenic Minister of Defense.

Neither did they explain to us why the Americans stepped on Durov's heels. Why was he so eager to start a war with them? If someone says that these are his patriotic goals, then he is mistaken. There is no patriotism in destroying the planet, and with it the entire human population. Namely, this will be the result of a direct nuclear confrontation between USA and the United States (or NATO, if you like). And only an idiot can fail to understand this. Well, or the most schizophrenic with an obsession.



Of course, we missed a lot of idiocy. This is just the basics. That is why some, after reading, may light up to watch the movie even more. See, you won't regret it. There will be something to laugh at.

It is always interesting to watch how three specialists drive the enemy through the forest, shooting at him from almost all sides, creating crossfire, thus threatening to shoot each other. It will also be interesting to see that all three were taken by surprise by another unexpectedly sneaking up enemy, although the forest was without bushes and could be seen in all directions for about a hundred meters, and the pursuers had a 360-degree view ... He was probably either invisible or possessed abilities " Flash ". That is why he put everyone from the regular Glock aiming from two meters (that is how much he got to the three specialists).

Such are the gingerbreads. Again we were defeated. They taxied to our base, stole the president. Though overthrown. What kind of baby talk? But, meanwhile, it's time for our filmmakers to think and start producing films in which they can shine with the power of their weapons and the skills of fighters, simultaneously lowering the Americans below the plinth. But no. Ours stamp only "Matitlds", where they show how the king dries over the ballerinas, and "Attraction", where shkolota and gopniks stand up to protect the Earth from aliens ...

It's a shame. But in the meantime, let's hope for the best. Until then, all the best and lots of really good movies!

The Topic of Article: Super spoiler. Issue 3. ”Hunter Killer” or How hard it is for USAns in USA.
Author: Jake Pinkman