New films. Full meter premieres from 12 to 19 June (Topic)

There will be only ten film premieres this week, and we are pleased to announce that USA filmmakers have finally woken up from the "vengeful Aladdin's" hibernation and released three films on theater screens at once, one of which is “ Donbass. Outskirts "will undoubtedly compete with the blockbuster produced by the US and Great Britain -" Men in Black: International ".

Foreign full meters

Hollywood is represented by only two films this week. It is a reboot of the Men in Black franchise and the horror film Ma. Also in the remaining set of foreign premieres from the old world, a Chinese cartoon and a moldy French documentary about Yves Saint Laurent were added. But we will start, nevertheless, with the most anticipated fantastic action movie ...

Men in Black: International (USA, England) IMDb 6.7

Restart of the franchise began to be planned exactly from the moment when Will Smith, afraid of "getting stuck in remakes and getting bogged down in sequels", refused to shoot in the sequel. This time, the role of a new recruit in the ranks of the organization that protects earthlings from "alien scum" went to a representative of the fair sex, namely Tessa Thompson. In a duet of "seasoned" she will replace the old hero Liam Neeson, who apparently went for a promotion.

As in all classified organizations, the MIB organization is famous for its spies. Some of them hide under the guise of ordinary people, and not all of them turn out to be earthlings of pure blood.

Well, since there are spies, it means that somewhere there are hostile ones. And it's good if "somewhere" is "not here". But in the case of the story behind the film, these damned hostile spies still managed to sneak into the ranks of the worldwide secret organization MIB.

How the recent Thor - Chris Hemsworth and his new partner will identify the mole is not clear. We hope it will be interesting. At least the trailer is good enough.

Jurassic Pet (USA) IMDb 5.6

A dinosaur egg falls into the hands of a small asshole who always dreamed of incredible adventures. And don't even ask where he got it. He just walked, just went into some shop, and just bought it from the old man there. Moreover, I bought it for free.

Judging by the trailer, he got the egg of the alosaurus, one of the most common predatory dinosaurs of the Jurassic period. This lizard, which has brains the size of a walnut, turned out to be extremely intelligent. By all accounts, he is smarter than a dog.

And now, this pangolin, which has already grown noticeably (I wonder how much pork or beef he needed to eat to grow to such a size, and where did he go to the pot?), the local "prokhvessor" decides to "grab" would Pechkin from Prostokvashin - "for experiments".

How will our little asshole help out his huge friend? After all, you can't quietly shave it and you can't hide it in a bag. This miracle Yudo is at least three meters tall, but we won't even talk about the length from tail to nose ...

Even from the trailer, it is clear that the film suffers from a naive plot and dumbly drawn computer graphics. To which foreign moviegoers, judging by the IMDb rating, reacted accordingly.

Ma (USA)

A local African-American aunt, who is simply called "Ma," is throwing cool parties for young people in the basement of her "detached" house. Moreover, they are allowed to hang out in full. Neither booze nor drugs are prohibited. Come on one hundred percent! Just don't go upstairs. This rule must not be violated.

But who observes these rules when? If in the film the emphasis is initially placed on a certain rule, then during the film, someone will still break it. And then it started. Parties don't really need to be, and Ma is not as good-natured as she seemed to be.

It turns out that she allows her to have parties in her house for one reason - to make a fucking party on the basis of it. It doesn’t always work out to the fullest, but it’s really going to turn around!

Venetian detective (Italy) IMDb 6.50

Italian comedies are not what they werein the eighties. But you can still look at some of them and we hope that this is just the case when you made the right choice.

A quiet town in northern Italy is shaken by a series of unexplained murders. The case is being led by Detective Stukki and is doing it with all the meticulousness he can. But he soon realizes that the reasons for the murders are known to everyone except him. What is this terrible secret that the locals are hiding from the police?

You don't even have to watch the trailer. Naturally - about nothing.

Pain and Glory (Spain) IMDb 7.80

This Spanish drama is expected mainly because of the stardom of its cast. Still, Antonio Banderas in a duet with Penelope Cruz! There will still be a couple! As long as the plot is not pumped up.

And, judging by the foreign rating, they did not disappoint. Despite the fact that their fans always evaluate dramas too zealously as a plus, this film was appreciated even in Cannes. Still, the LGBT theme is loved by everyone now! Well, how can you not give such a masterpiece a palm branch?

To whom this exaggerated topic (like us, for example) is already bored, we pass by and watch films about "normals", of which there will soon be much less than about representatives of all kinds of sexual minorities.

The Greatest Couturier (France) IMDb 7.2

At the end of the list of foreign premieres, there is a rotten documentary about the greatest couturier of all times and peoples Yves Saint Laurent.

Twelve years have passed since its world premiere. And it would have been lying and gathering dust on the shelves if it had not been for the desire of the dealers from the Pioneer rental company to make a profit on cheap goods. Well, what else to throw in cinemas at a time when they are totally dominated by the new and improved "Men in Black"? Something free, of course, that won't burn you out.

Perhaps, some admirers of the maestro's talent will be brought to the session. We'll also raise some money, right?

Space Adventure (China) IMDb 7.30

Finish the list of foreign films this week with a Chinese cartoon about the struggle of local aliens against evil earthlings.

Once a planet called Kepler was a blooming paradise. Now, after the arrival of earthlings here, everything has fallen into decay. And all because people destroyed all the local Kar-Lalo trees, which gave energy to all living things. But evil uncles and aunts ruined everything, picked up for profit.

Just like Avatar with a fucking anobtanium. Only there, everyone and everything was protected from earthlings by Jake Sully, who went over to the side of the blue aborigines. And then who will help the locals?

Our full meters

Finally, the most important Hollywood film premieres of this year are over, and now, without fear of competition, you can gradually release your films. No, of course "Men in Black" is also a heavyweight competitor, but in comparison with "The Avengers", "Men in Black" and "Aladdin" it does not go anywhere.

In any case, sometime you need to thaw. Hollywood releases a blockbuster every week. Because of this, do not waste the entire domestic film industry.

The three films from domestic filmmakers consist of the above-mentioned military thriller about events that took place not so long ago in the near abroad, and a couple of comedies. And let's start with the main national film of this month ...

Donbass. Okraina (USA)

This is exactly the picture that will compete with Zacordonian "Men in Black". And you should definitely go to it. Watching the trailer.

People who talk about war and really adore this topic have never been to it themselves. But they are so fond of opening their mouths and raising hi in such "talk-shop programs" as "Evening with Solovyov", "Time will Show" and others of the same direction.

Alexander Timoshkin and Renat Davletyarov decided to show some quirks what it means in our calm time to be in a troubled place and to feel all the bitterness of the echoes of the civil war on their own lips.

The film will not particularly touch upon who is right and who is wrong. It will simply show what happens to people when some dunce from above signs their death warrant.

Well that's right. He has children and relatives far from these places. This means that in order to arrange a war there, nothing bothers him. Huy will die, I won't cry for them!

I'm not like that! I am not like that! (USA)

You live for yourself, you live with your beloved husband, when suddenly - Bam! You find out that he has a prostitute on the side. Has and has. Has and has again.

And what should your girlfriends do when they find out that their husbands also have the same prostitute on the side. And they also have it and have it, have it and have it!

And there is only one way out. Gather all three of them, summon her to him and see what she has, what they don't have. And then ...

Well, then - fuck her and fuck her. Tap it, and fuck it again.

Flight of the Horned Vikings (USA)

Everybody fought in childhood. Someone is in the classroom, someone is between classes, someone is a yard to a yard, someone is a street to a street, someone is a microdistrict to a microdistrict, etc.

Here their honor and dignity will try to protect local imperfections, which are constantly bullied by the guys from the “horned Vikings”. If you are not with them, then against them. And that means you will surely get the most out of it. The only one who knows what to do is Johnny Vorobyov. He will teach local fools how to properly rebel against "Viking" tyranny.

For a long time, children's films have not been released on our screens. And, by the way, the film is based on the children's book by the writer V. Krapivin, written by him back in the Soviet years.

For those who have read the original work, it will be interesting to see what happened to the director Belostotsky and the author of the work himself, Krapivin, who hastily adapted the story to our present "capitalist-democratic" time.

Conclusion

This concludes. Tomorrow we will present a list of the best TV series, the new seasons of which will be released during this period of time, as well as acquaint you with the premieres of new standing “long-playing” TV projects, with which the leading foreign TV channels constantly delight us. In the meantime, as always, good mood and more cool movies and TV series!

The Topic of Article: New films. Full meter premieres from 12 to 19 June.
Author: Jake Pinkman