Recently, Volition announced that they found the source code for Saints Row 2 and could finally fix the PC version. "What's wrong with her?" - will ask people who have not played this game on the great and mighty. The thing is, Saints Row 2 is a great game, but one of the worst ports on PCs from consoles. So terrible that the game needed to install separate patches in order to somehow get through. In honor of such good news, we decided to recall the worst ports of PC games in history, in order to honor the memory of those who passed these games in the form in which they were purchased.
Saints Row 2
Let's start with the game that inspired this revelation. Now it will be funny for you, but our beloved CD Project Red was engaged in the port of this game on the PC. Yes, long before any of your witchers and cyberpunks there, the Poles delighted us with this miracle, which simply blew our brains. The game literally flew. Your character ran and fired at the same speed as the hero in Saints Row 4. The only problem is that in the fourth part it is a super power of the character, and in the second one there is a bug, as a result of which the control of the car turned into an epileptic seizure, and all this at an excellent 15 FPS.
At one point, Rockstar was lazy, and with the phrase "and so it will do" released the PC to the pigs GTA IV. My acquaintance with the game was as follows: Niko leaves the ship, where Roman meets him at 20 FPS. They get into a car that does not reflect light, I press the gas button, feeling the curvature of the control, and at that moment the flawed "Chiki here, chiki there" is played on the radio. It’s like they’re not verbally saying to me: "Yeah dude, the optimization of this game is really that shitty." Fortunately, the studio finished the game with patches, and GTA IV became what it should be - one of the most iconic games of its time.
Bully Scholarship Edition
And most likely, the "fashion" for bad ports went to Rokzved with Bully. The game was filled with both graphical and technical bugs, from shiny HUD elements, problems with transparency of textures and sound, right up to poor controls, in which there was almost no mouse, errors with physics, and where without a locked speed of 30 frames per second. At least it was playable, unlike most of the participants on this list. Although, personally, my game decided to delete the save, because it so wanted.
Port Nier was doomed from the start. The game did not work super well on consoles, what can we say about the PC. Taking into account that Platinum Games a priori did not make good ports, Nier's problems were more than obvious and expected. Bad optimization that occurs on hardware of any level is what awaited you. And if your system runs games on medium or low graphics - forget, you won't be able to play. But even on powerful PCs, things were bad due to sticking and glitches.
The players made patches, but even they didn't really save the day. The most optimal solution is to run on minimums with inferior resolution or windowed mode.
Only the lazy didn't kick Watch Dogs when she came out. We were promised a graphical nextgen that will amaze us dirty PC boyars. On consoles, the game was a hit, delivering solid graphics, innovative gameplay, and an overall enjoyable new century storyline. But the port ... We are all used to downgrading graphics, which are different from those shown in the trailers, but Watch Dogs, as we were promised, was revolutionary. This dynamo upgrade really hit a new bottom when FPS dropped to single digits.
Add also the fact that Watch Dogs also had problems with corrupted data storage. Many users reported random errors in saving the game, as a result of which they had to go through everything from the very beginning. Fortunately, it was also patched.
Batman Arkham Knight
But this game was kicked by absolutely everyone, because it surpassed even the buggy dogs of Ubisoft. Probably the worst port in history, at least so far. It is even difficult to characterize, it was so bad. Graphics and system errors, bugs that do not allow you to play at least somehow, constant crashes, and in general the feeling that the project was not stupidly finalized. It’s as if one person was in charge of the port, and he was like that at one point: "Ahhh well fuck this shit, I went home!".
It got to the point that WB games just returned money to everyone who bought their game and stopped selling to re-release the game after a while. This is what happens when you entrust a port of an important game to developers who are not familiar with the code, who have previously been involved in mobile games.
Resident Evil 4
This game rattled the nerves of many people, and it has a special place in my heart. After all, the games have not yet demanded such an absurdity from me. When RE4 came out, you should realize that it was a PC port from the PS2 version that was previously a Game Cube port. That's how bad it was. The game lacked shadows, lighting effects, sound glitches, and keyboard support curves, and sometimes none at all. I will never forget QTE, when a stone rolls on Leon, and the game screams alarmingly "press this button, press the button!" And there is no button, just an empty window! ”.
People say that Dark Souls must compete with Batman to be the poorest PC port ever. The game was completely not adapted to the controls with inadequate mouse and keyboard support, locked FPS, and all this in one of the most difficult games in the world! Yes, I know that there are people who have passed Dark Souls on drums, guitar and even with the help of fucking homemade banana controllers, but! This does not mean that I should not play the normal game. The studio even released a public apology that she screwed up.
Devil May Cry 3
What can you say about this port? Locked window mode, an exciting quest called "find the left nipple of the gamepad on the keyboard to walk" the inability to save and load yourself. I have everything.
Metal Gear Solid 2
The game had amazing textures with missing shadows and effects. The PC version was also prone to control and sound glitches. There was no optimization for keyboard and mouse, and it also required you to find a gamepad on your keyboard. Thank you Kojima.
The Evil Within
During development, the developers thought that it would be very cool to take away from the players the ability to see the body of their hero by the feet. Allegedly, it is more cinematic, and even creates a disturbing atmosphere.
So these stripes were always different, when the port on the PC came out, these black stripes were completely enraged. Plus the classic 30FPS blocking and graphical glitches.
Splinter Cell: Double Agent
Want stealth? Silenced pistols? Pfff the last century! How do you like the lack of sounds of shots in any weapon? Add lag, lack of shadows and get the AAA port you deserve on your PC.
Enslaved: Odyssey to the West
This game has two of the most common port problems on a PC: 30 FPS and 720p. While the menu supposedly had the option to zoom to 1080p, nothing really changes. You must edit the game's INI file to make any resolution changes. In addition, the image in the game on a PC is blurry, and if you, God forbid, have more than two gigs of RAM, write it away.
Need For Speed Run
The game had bad graphics, and the port lacked such a banal thing as anti-aliasing. Need For Speed Run looked like a piece of modern arcade machines in the mall. Plus, if you thought you could play on the wheel, then forget, since you are a PC user, you will 100% play the keyboard. Moreover, one that should support a gamepad.
What conclusion can be drawn from all these stories? Many developers think that the number of PC players is quite small, and if the game has paid off on consoles, then these idiots clavomuscular will definitely gobble up whatever it is. However, no. Fortunately, today everything is different, and not thanks to the Chinese market, where most people play on the PC. It seems to me that the experience of predecessors could improve the situation.
The Topic of Article: Worst PC Game Ports Ever.