Top 20 Best Musketeer Movies. Part 2 (Topic)

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Top 20 Best Musketeer Movies. Part 2


Before we start discussing the second part of the list of the best films about the Musketeers, I would like to say a few words about the "moral content" of the original source, which was Dumas's three-volume book. Let's not go into controversy over the fact that all the characters that served as some kind of prototypes for the four Musketeer friends lived at different times and were not exactly what they are given out in the novel. Let’s also ignore the fact that at the time of the siege of La Rochelle, d'Artagnan was not even 14 years old.

Let's analyze only the moral foundations that this novel and the paintings that are included in our top films about the Musketeers instill in us.

Past Morality


As the hero of Mironov from "The Diamond Hand" would say, "image-morality" among the inhabitants of that time was at the lowest level. After all, what story will appear before our eyes, if we throw aside all the colorful canopy?

It appears that the Three Musketeers is a novel in which the queen of one state, in fact, cheats with the minister of another state. No, it doesn’t come to sex, but here, “secret dates” alone are enough for the moral image of that time to fall below the plinth.

Next, we go to the lower classes. The young nobleman does not care at all that the girl is married. This does not stop him from trying with all his efforts not to try to "perch" on it. As well as a girl, being married, she does not mind playing with the first comer.

We are completely silent about the execution of Milady. Be that as it may, the four friends had no right to execute a person without trial or investigation.


Next, what do we see? In the second book of the trilogy, the nonsense continues. Anna (queen) sleeps without a twinge of conscience with the cardinal (clergyman). And it feels great knowing that one of her children languishes in dungeon for nothing. That's how mommy.

In the third book, it turns out that changing one king for another is a piece of cake, and anyone who has sufficient power can do it. Moreover, the king himself acts here not only in the role of some unintentional despot, but also in the role of a real loshara, who is unable to feel what is happening under his nose. The question arises, why then does the country need it at all?

About the son of Count De La Fere, a brute who is unable to survive betrayal, we are completely silent. We are also silent about what base goals the nobles of the past embarked on adventures, and without even thinking about the consequences of their actions.

But for filmmakers, this was not enough. In their films, they spice up the nonsense of their author, so much so that some kind of orgy of idiocy comes out.

So let's move on.

11. The Musketeers 20 Years Later (1992), mini-series (USA) 7.02


13 years later, Georgy Yungvald-Khilkevich decided to screw up the film based on Dumas's second book about the three Musketeers, that is, the continuation of the first film that we covered in the first part of our top. It turned out crooked and askew for many reasons.

Firstly, until recently it was not clear who would write the music for this film. Since there was no one to compose individual songs for Boyarsky and other performers of the main roles, the mini-series was no longer a musical, but something like comedy-dramatic historical adventures on the topic ...

Secondly, Boyarsky had to be torn between two tapes, in fact, this one and Tartuffe. Therefore, he could not play normally in either this or that.

Thirdly, during the filming, the director was very ill and went abroad for treatment, and the filming process continued under the direction of Boyarsky. Hence the disgusting acting. This is especially evident at the beginning of filming, when there are meetings between friends. The actors act in the frame as if they don't know what to do at all.

But, the most important thing is fourth. Making the first tape, Jungvald-Khilkevich was not going to shoot a sequel. Nor were the writers going to adapt the sequel to the novel later. And therefore, without a twinge, they threw out a bunch of significant things from the narrative, without which the second part simply does not look.

Let's not focus on all the details, just one is enough. From the first part, such a significant hero as the brother of Milady's husband Lord Winter was completely cut out. But he was even present at her execution. And in the second film, he appears out of nowhere, moreover, knowing about all the details of this execution and about all its participants.

Separately, I would like to say about the ring that d'Artagnan allegedly laid in order to send a message to Buckingham that they want to finish him off. We all know that the hero of Borsky did nothing of the kind in the first film.

And so on. But you can see. Since this is one of only a couple of film versions, based on the second book, which filmmakers, for some reason, prefer to bypass.

12. Three Musketeers (1953), film (France, Italy) 6.91


Despite the fact that the film is quite old, it has been restored in color and is worth your attention, since in it, again based on the first book, the action unfolds as close as possible to the original source. Although, there are some "discrepancies" here.

Nobody stole D'Artagnan's letter here in Mengue, and he was recovering after beatings under the careful supervision of the local maid Anette, with whom he had tricks. They also changed a little with challenges to a duel, that is, with the first acquaintance. At Porthos, the sling was normal both in front and behind, just a Gascon, running past, pushed his cloak away. He simply pushed Athos, and he was not wounded at all. Only Aramis, as usual, stomped on his scarf.

The cloak of the Musketeer d'Artagnan received here immediately, as soon as he pierced de Jussac with his sword during the first familiar duel of friends. Here Constance, for some reason, was Bonacieux's niece. But the uncle was no better than her husband. Instead of telling the guardsmen that the girl was not at home, he turned her in with all the giblets. By the way, no one even arrested him. He just sold out for the money.

Why did the haberdasher need to build a trapdoor to the lower room where he stores supplies? Where did d'Artagnan get his expensive outfits from if he arrived in Paris penniless and light? Unclear.

13. Three Musketeers: Queen's Pendants (1973), c / f (USA, Great Britain, Spain, Panama) 6.50


An overly comedic interpretation, in which the most memorable is how the musketeers from among the nobility drag out a beggarly existence to such an extent that they are forced to steal food in taverns. Moreover, they do it so naively that one can only marvel at the stupidity of the whole far-fetched extravaganza.

Milady is here at the moment of handing over the pendants with Constance, and for some reason only d'Artagnan has a servant. This is the only tape that shows a Gascon gathering his friends on his way back from England. Athos is exposed here as the most natural blockhead who constantly falls into the well due to drunkenness. D'Artagnan fought with Rochefort on swords even before he went to England, although in the book he fought him three times, but after all the actions described in the novel.

The movie is the first part. The second, with a skinny Michael York as d'Artagnan, came out the following year and is also on our list of the best films about the Musketeers at number 16.

14. The Secret of Queen Anne, or Musketeers Thirty Years Later (1993), mini-series (USA) 6.35


In the mini-series filmed by Jungvald-Khilkevich based on the third book, or, to be precise, on the third book of the third book, since "Viscount De Bragelon or Ten Years Later" is a three-volume in three volumes, the action unfolds around the same " substitution of kings ", or, to be more precise, around the substitution of King Louis for his brother Philip.

The role of the royal twins was played here by Kharatyan, who by that time had not yet completely drunken. The film, to be honest, came out as mediocre as the second part and wanted its release, first of all, only Boyarsky, who so much got used to the image of d'Artagnan that he still cannot part with the musketeer's hat.

15. Three Musketeers (1993), film (Austria, Great Britain, USA) 6.25


The picture came out the most colorful and demanded, as it featured such famous actors at that time as Kiefer Sutherland (TV series 24 Hours) and Charlie Sheen (Platoon (1986) and the TV series Two and a Half Men).

Now about what her selfless adapters have brought to this adaptation. The tape begins with the complete disbandment of the company of the musketeers. Because of what, it is not said. Rochefort, for some reason, acts here as the captain of the cardinal's guards, although he was just his six, although being in the title of count.

Here Constance, for some reason, is the maid of honor of the queen, and not her castellan. And d'Artagnan met her on the way to Paris, when some relatives of the dude were chasing after him, whose woman (or sister) he "entered". Rochefort, according to Athos, it turns out, was also once a musketeer and was expelled from the company for (!) Inappropriate behavior.

The first challenge to a duel was also interesting. Athos the Gascon challenged himself to a duel, because he didn’t like that he was too talkative, he sprinkled wine on the sling that the Queen of America gave him (!) in theology ".

The king here is a weak-willed loshara, from whom Richelieu, how not to do figs, took, and dismissed the guard company. Three Musketeers, as it turned out, refused to "disband", among others. That is why they want to be arrested as rioters.

It is especially noteworthy that here Richelieu was a traitor, who behind Louis' shouldersXIII sculpted agreements with Buckingham and even planned an attempt on the king himself, which Sabina confessed (not to be confused with a little witch ), she is the local Milady and the ex-wife of Athos.

16. Four Musketeers (1974), film (Spain, Panama) 6.23


Continuation of those "Three Musketeers" that are in our top 13 positions. Although the story of the pendants is over, the extravaganza of idiocy does not stop. Rochefort was freed from prison by the same musketeers, Constance was stolen, wearing, for some reason, a purse on her head. It is clear that in the future our friends will have to free her, clashing with Milady, armed with daggers hissing and smoking with poison (which is more about acid, not poison) and all the same one-eyed Rochefort and his henchmen.

The submarine deserves special attention. Why we were shown this idiotic "miracle of underwater movement", which refutes all the laws of physics, is unclear. It must have looked cool at the time.

17. Mademoiselle Musketeer (2004) Miniseries (Croatia, Germany, USA) 6.16


It seems that the authors of the adapted scripts are specifically looking for idiocy more idiotic than the previous ones. For example, in this tape, in which the action takes place at a time when d'Artagnan (here again, skinny Michael York) and his friends are already old fart, King Louis XIV is Buckingham's son.

A letter from Queen Anne with evidence of this fact falls into the hands of the cardinal, and he is already rubbing his hands, dreaming of how he will blackmail the current king of France to hell. But the letter was stolen by the king's mistress, after which she is killed by the local incarnation of Milady.

The letter falls into the hands of d'Artagnan's daughter Valentina, and now the captain of the guards of Cardinal Villeroi with the cuckoo shifted to the side will stop at nothing so as not to finish off this impudent girl, striving at all costs to become a musketeer. p>

In the film, Valentina will have to defend the secret of the king and, together with the sons of the other three Musketeers, who have closed up (Ha!) street actors singing their own past feats, to free Louis' bride - the future Queen of France, but for now - the Princess of Spain from the tenacious clutches of the villain Villeroi .

An interesting fact is that Gerard Depardieu again starred in this film about the Musketeers. And if in the film "The Man in the Iron Mask" (1998), which appeared in the first part of our top best films about the Musketeers in 6th place, he played the brave Porthos, then he got the role of the traitor to Cardinal Mazarin.

18. D'Artagnan's daughter (1994), film (France) 6.08


According to the book of d'Artagna, he did not have children until his death. But the “scriptwriters-adapters” disagree. Moreover, in most cases, they insist that if he had a child, it would have to be a daughter. This is exactly what happened in the next version of the film about the Musketeers.

In the film, it all started with the fact that a black man escaped from a ship and, hiding from the pursuit, hid in a monastery. It was in this monastery that d'Artagnan's daughter Eloise grew up and was brought up. After the chaos that happened, she goes to Paris to complain about the lady in red that she chased after the Negro and killed the abbess, for whose death the girl vowed to take revenge.

Dartagnan at this time vegetates in poverty and gives fencing lessons for food. He lives with his former servant Planchet, now the owner of the diner. Eloise comes to him with bad news and with her friend Quentin, who, under the pseudonym "Poor", writes libelous verses glorifying the idiocy of the current authorities.

She has some kind of letter that fell out of the hands of the murdered, negro. What's encrypted in it? What are attackers so afraid of? This is what we have to find out by watching the tape to the end.

Very interesting, at what time did Eloise manage to be born? Planchet said that he had lullied her during the siege of La Rochelle. So Dumas is lying and somewhere in those events between the pendants and the murder in the Bethune Monastery more than 9 months passed.

By the way, according to d'Artagnan, in this film only 20 years have passed since the siege of La Rochelle, which means now, in theory, he not only had to be in the service, but still vegetate in the rank lieutenant and, moreover, gather his friends in order to save the king of Britain from Cromwell. But in this universe, as they say now, what happened to d'Artagnan is not the worst. Athos, for example, according to him, died suddenly ...

19. Three Musketeers (1959), film (France) 6.06


Here the role of the gallant Gascon was played by the young Jean Paul Belmondo. And the story begins immediately with de Treville's office, where Dartagnan eavesdropped at the door, and Athos, as in the book, was put to bed due to a wound in the shoulder.

Here d'Artagnan, as in the novel, was assigned to some kind of academy, where everyone was taught to dance, fence, in a word, behave decently. It is not clear what the hell Rochefort and Milady were doing at the Musketeers' residence? What was Lord Winter doing among the Guards when the Musketeers and D'Artagnan decided to duel?

Interestingly, in a dummy letter to Buckingham, he is explicitly assigned a date with the queen at the castellan Bonacieux. And if Milady already knows where Buckingham will be hiding, why not take him right there, lukewarm?

This is the only interpretation in which the line about the relationship between Milady and her real husband's brother is widely disclosed. It was here that de Vard introduced D'Artagnan, who saved his life, to Milady.

The downside is that Planchet, the Gascon's servant, literally came out of nowhere. Here he was not, but here he, from somewhere, suddenly appears. And, again, a hatch in the floor. In the book, d'Artagnan had to dismantle the floor to get to the lower floor. There is also a hatch right there. What idiot would deliberately make a loophole in his bins?

20. Three Musketeers / Musketeers (2011), film (USA, Germany, France, England) 6.02


Worse, naive and moronic alterations than Paul Andersen did, no one has done. Actions begin long before the main events. The Musketeers, working in community with Milady, the friend of Athos, whom the director entrusted to play his wife Mille Jovovich, sneak into the Italian underground vaults to steal the blueprints of a certain aircraft invented by Da Vinci himself. At the end of the first act, Milady betrays all the Musketeers, giving the plans to Buckingham.

And now the main story begins. Four friends, who have gathered to fight in a duel in the vicinity of a monastery, find themselves surrounded by innumerable hordes of the cardinal's guards. How did they get there? They looked like no less than a hundred people. And all of them our gallant three Musketeers with Gascon win. It was so funny, unrealizable and naive that your obedient servants simply could not watch this horrible nonsense sucked from the finger to the end.

There, they say, were also aircraft. What made us even more distracted from watching this nonsense.



In the films describing that era, everything looks colorful, bright and impeccable. And no one tells the truth that all the ladies of the court had their hairstyles infested with lice, and any inveterate gentleman could boast of insects in the scrotum. About sexually transmitted diseases and the fact that the contents of the chamber pots spilled out directly into the street from the window, and no one speaks at all. More or less truthfully that time is described only in the series "The Musketeers", which in the first part of our top takes 10th place.

But that doesn't make the rest of the musketeer films any worse. Isn't it?

The Topic of Article: Top 20 Best Musketeer Movies. Part 2.
Author: Jake Pinkman